The Lie of “When I’m Ready”
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” — Joseph Campbell
Sarah stared at the blinking cursor on her laptop screen, the same cursor that had been taunting her for three months. The business plan was 80% complete, the market research was thorough, and she had enough savings to last eighteen months. Her friends called her crazy for wanting to leave her corporate job, but deep down, she knew this startup idea could work. Yet every morning, she found herself saying the same four words that had become her mantra of paralysis: “When I’m ready.”
Those words—seemingly innocent, reasonable, even prudent—had become the cage that kept her dreams locked away. What Sarah didn’t realize was that she had fallen victim to one of the most pervasive and destructive lies we tell ourselves: the lie that readiness is a prerequisite for action.
The Mythology of Perfect Preparation
We live in a culture obsessed with preparation. From the moment we’re born, we’re told to get ready: ready for school, ready for college, ready for our careers, ready for marriage, ready for children, ready for retirement. This constant emphasis on preparation has created a mythology that suggests there exists a magical moment when we’ll be perfectly equipped to handle whatever challenge lies ahead.
This mythology is deeply seductive because it appears logical. After all, wouldn’t it be better to be prepared than unprepared? Shouldn’t we wait until we have all the skills, resources, and knowledge necessary before we take that leap? The problem with this thinking is that it fundamentally misunderstands the nature of readiness itself.
Readiness is not a state of being—it’s a state of becoming. It’s not something we achieve before we act; it’s something we develop through action. The person who waits to feel ready before starting a business will never start one. The person who waits to feel ready before having a difficult conversation will never have it. The person who waits to feel ready before pursuing their dreams will spend their entire life waiting.
Consider the most successful entrepreneurs in history. Did Steve Jobs feel ready when he started Apple in his garage? Did Oprah Winfrey feel ready when she took on her first television hosting job? Did Sara Blakely feel ready when she cut the feet off her pantyhose and created what would become Spanx? The answer is unequivocally no. They started before they were ready, and they became ready through the process of doing.
The Neuroscience of Readiness
To understand why “when I’m ready” is such a compelling lie, we need to examine what happens in our brains when we contemplate taking action before we feel prepared. Neuroscientist Dr. Antonio Damasio’s research on decision-making reveals that our brains are prediction machines, constantly trying to forecast the outcomes of our potential actions. When we consider doing something new or challenging, our brains immediately begin generating scenarios—most of which focus on potential negative outcomes.
This neurological bias toward negative prediction served our ancestors well when the primary threats were physical dangers like predators or natural disasters. If you heard rustling in the bushes, it was better to assume it was a lion and be wrong than to assume it was the wind and be eaten. But in our modern world, this same mechanism works against us when we’re trying to pursue opportunities rather than avoid threats.
When Sarah contemplates leaving her job to start her business, her brain floods her with images of failure: bankruptcy, professional humiliation, financial ruin. These aren’t rational assessments of probability—they’re evolutionary defense mechanisms designed to keep her safe. Her brain interprets the unknown as dangerous and generates the feeling that she needs more preparation, more certainty, more readiness before she can safely proceed.
The irony is that the very act of waiting for readiness often makes us less ready, not more. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth versus fixed mindsets shows that people who believe abilities can be developed through effort and learning are more likely to take on challenges and persist through setbacks. Those who believe they must possess certain qualities before beginning are more likely to give up when faced with obstacles.
The Perfectionism Trap
Behind the lie of “when I’m ready” often lurks perfectionism—the belief that we must be flawless before we can be valuable. Perfectionism masquerades as a virtue, presenting itself as high standards and attention to detail. In reality, it’s a form of self-protection that keeps us from risking failure, criticism, or judgment.
Dr. Brené Brown’s research on vulnerability and shame reveals that perfectionism is not about achievement—it’s about approval. Perfectionists believe that if they can just get everything right, they’ll be able to avoid the pain of criticism, judgment, or rejection. But this strategy is fundamentally flawed because it assumes that perfect performance is possible and that it guarantees positive outcomes.
The perfectionist’s version of readiness is an impossible standard. They need to have read every book, mastered every skill, anticipated every obstacle, and eliminated every risk before they can begin. This creates an endless cycle of preparation that never leads to action. There’s always one more course to take, one more skill to develop, one more piece of information to gather.
Maria, a talented graphic designer, spent two years “getting ready” to launch her freelance business. She took course after course on business development, marketing, and client management. She redesigned her portfolio seventeen times. She researched her competition obsessively and created elaborate business plans that accounted for every possible scenario. But she never actually approached a single potential client.
When pressed about why she hadn’t started actively seeking clients, Maria would say, “I’m just not quite ready yet. I need to perfect my presentation materials first.” What she really meant was: “I’m terrified that I might not be good enough, and as long as I’m still preparing, I don’t have to face that possibility.”
The Opportunity Cost of Waiting
Every moment we spend waiting to be ready is a moment we’re not gaining the experience that would actually make us ready. This creates what economists call an opportunity cost—the value of the best alternative that we’re giving up. When we choose to wait, we’re choosing to forgo the learning, growth, and progress that would come from taking action.
The photography students in a famous study by ceramics teacher David Bayles illustrate this principle perfectly. Bayles divided his class into two groups: the “quantity” group, which would be graded solely on the amount of work produced, and the “quality” group, which would be graded on the excellence of a single piece. At the end of the semester, the highest quality work was produced by the quantity group—the students who had spent their time making pottery rather than planning the perfect pot.
This phenomenon occurs because improvement happens through iteration, not contemplation. Every time we act, we gather data about what works and what doesn’t. We develop intuition, refine our judgment, and build confidence. The entrepreneur who launches an imperfect product learns what customers actually want. The writer who publishes imperfect stories learns what resonates with readers. The person who has difficult conversations learns how to navigate conflict.
Meanwhile, the person who waits to be ready remains stuck in the realm of theory. They may have extensive knowledge about their field, but they lack the practical wisdom that comes only from experience. They may have detailed plans, but they haven’t developed the adaptability that comes from dealing with unexpected challenges.
The Myth of the Perfect Moment
Closely related to the lie of readiness is the myth of the perfect moment—the belief that there exists an ideal time to begin any worthwhile endeavor. This myth suggests that if we just wait long enough, circumstances will align in a way that makes success inevitable and failure impossible.
The reality is that there is no perfect moment. There will always be reasons to wait: the economy is uncertain, you don’t have enough money, you’re too young or too old, you don’t have the right connections, the market isn’t ready, or any number of other seemingly valid concerns. If we wait for the perfect moment, we’ll wait forever.
Consider the story of Reed Hastings, the founder of Netflix. In 1997, when he conceived the idea of mailing DVDs to customers, many people thought he was crazy. The internet was slow, not everyone had DVD players, and Blockbuster dominated the video rental market. By conventional wisdom, it wasn’t the right time to start a video rental business. But Hastings didn’t wait for the perfect moment—he created it.
The same principle applies to personal endeavors. There’s no perfect time to start a family, change careers, go back to school, or pursue a creative passion. Life is inherently messy and unpredictable. The person who waits for all the stars to align will find that the stars are always moving.
The Readiness Paradox
Here’s the central paradox of readiness: the things that make us feel ready—knowledge, skills, resources, confidence—are often best developed through the very activities we’re avoiding. We become ready by doing, not by waiting to feel ready.
This paradox is evident in countless areas of life. We don’t become confident speakers by studying public speaking theory; we become confident speakers by speaking publicly. We don’t become skilled leaders by reading leadership books; we become skilled leaders by leading. We don’t become resilient by avoiding challenges; we become resilient by facing them.
The playwright Tony Kushner captured this paradox beautifully when he wrote, “The way you solve a problem is not by avoiding it but by passing through it.” The skills, confidence, and wisdom we think we need before we begin are actually the gifts waiting for us on the other side of beginning.
The Starting Line Fallacy
Another component of the readiness lie is what we might call the starting line fallacy—the belief that there’s a clear, obvious moment when we transition from preparation to action. This fallacy assumes that readiness is binary: either we’re ready or we’re not, and there’s a distinct moment when we cross the threshold.
In reality, readiness is a spectrum, and the transition from preparation to action is often gradual and ambiguous. The novelist who “starts” writing their book may have been thinking about it for years. The entrepreneur who “launches” their business may have been testing ideas and building relationships for months. The person who “begins” their fitness journey may have been making small changes to their lifestyle for weeks.
This fallacy is dangerous because it allows us to perpetually postpone action while we search for the perfect starting moment. We tell ourselves we’ll start when we have more money, when we have more time, when we have more knowledge, when we have more support—but these conditions are rarely as clear-cut as we imagine.
The truth is that starting is less like stepping across a line and more like gradually turning up the volume on a song. There’s no single moment when silence becomes music, and there’s no single moment when we become ready. We simply begin, and readiness emerges through the process of beginning.
The Courage to Begin
If readiness is not a prerequisite for action, then what is? The answer is courage—not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act in spite of fear. Courage is the antidote to the lie of “when I’m ready” because it acknowledges that we may never feel ready, but we can still choose to begin.
Courage is not about being fearless; it’s about being afraid and doing it anyway. It’s about accepting that we may not have all the answers, that we may make mistakes, that we may fail, and choosing to proceed regardless. This type of courage is what psychologist Dr. Susan David calls “emotional courage”—the ability to engage with our emotions, including fear and uncertainty, without being paralyzed by them.
The entrepreneur who starts before they’re ready demonstrates courage. The artist who shares their work before it’s perfect demonstrates courage. The person who has a difficult conversation before they’ve figured out exactly what to say demonstrates courage. They’re not reckless—they’re brave.
Practical Strategies for Overcoming the Readiness Lie
Recognizing the lie of “when I’m ready” is the first step toward overcoming it. The second step is developing practical strategies for taking action in spite of our fears and uncertainties.
Start Small, Start Ugly: Instead of waiting to launch the perfect version of your idea, launch an imperfect version. Reid Hoffman, founder of LinkedIn, famously said, “If you’re not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.” This principle applies beyond business—it’s better to have an imperfect conversation than no conversation at all, better to write a bad first draft than no draft at all.
Set Implementation Intentions: Research by psychologist Peter Gollwitzer shows that people are more likely to follow through on their goals when they create specific “if-then” plans. Instead of saying “I’ll start when I’m ready,” say “If it’s Tuesday morning, then I’ll work on my project for 30 minutes.” This removes the subjective judgment about readiness and creates a clear trigger for action.
Embrace the Learning Mindset: Reframe your endeavors as experiments rather than tests. An experiment is designed to gather information, while a test is designed to measure performance. When you approach something as an experiment, you’re more likely to be curious about the results rather than anxious about the outcome.
Find Your Minimum Viable Action: What’s the smallest possible step you could take toward your goal? If you want to start a business, your minimum viable action might be talking to one potential customer. If you want to write a book, it might be writing one paragraph. The key is to identify an action so small that you can’t reasonably say you’re not ready for it.
Use the 10-10-10 Rule: When you’re paralyzed by uncertainty, ask yourself: How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes? In 10 months? In 10 years? This exercise helps you distinguish between immediate discomfort and long-term consequences, and it often reveals that the pain of not acting is greater than the pain of acting.
The Gift of Unreadiness
Perhaps the most surprising truth about readiness is that unreadiness is actually a gift. When we’re not ready, we’re more open to learning, more willing to adapt, and more likely to seek help from others. We approach challenges with what Zen Buddhism calls “beginner’s mind”—a state of openness and eagerness that isn’t burdened by preconceptions.
The person who feels completely ready often becomes overconfident and stops learning. They may miss important feedback, ignore changing circumstances, or become rigid in their approach. The person who knows they’re not ready remains humble and curious, qualities that are essential for growth and success.
Unreadiness also creates urgency. When we know we don’t have all the answers, we’re more motivated to find them quickly. When we know we don’t have all the skills, we’re more focused on developing them. This urgency can be a powerful catalyst for rapid learning and improvement.
Beyond the Lie
The lie of “when I’m ready” is so compelling because it promises safety—safety from failure, from judgment, from the unknown. But this promise is false. The person who waits to feel ready doesn’t avoid these experiences; they simply postpone them while sacrificing the growth and opportunities that come from facing them.
The alternative to this lie is not recklessness—it’s courage. It’s the recognition that readiness is not a prerequisite for action but a byproduct of it. It’s the understanding that we don’t need to be perfect to be valuable, that we don’t need to have all the answers to ask good questions, that we don’t need to feel ready to be ready enough.
Sarah finally understood this truth on a Tuesday morning in March. She closed her laptop, walked into her boss’s office, and submitted her resignation. She didn’t feel ready. Her business plan still had gaps, her savings weren’t as large as she’d hoped, and she was terrified of what might happen. But she had finally realized that feeling ready was not the goal—growing ready was.
Six months later, her business was thriving, not because she had been perfectly prepared, but because she had been willing to learn, adapt, and grow through the process of doing. She had discovered what every successful person eventually learns: that readiness is not something you have, it’s something you become, and you can only become it by beginning.
The lie of “when I’m ready” promises safety but delivers stagnation. The truth is that we are always ready enough to begin, never ready enough to guarantee success, and most ready when we’re actively engaged in the process of becoming. The question is not whether you’re ready—it’s whether you’re willing to become ready through the beautiful, messy, uncertain process of starting before you feel prepared.
The treasure you seek is not hidden in the safety of preparation—it’s waiting in the cave you fear to enter, the one marked “not ready yet.” The time to enter is now.